3.08.2002

I was really pissed last night because during the course of a pretty pleasant dinner at the Sf Culinary Academy, I was basically accused of having a shitty time by two people when, in fact, I was perfectly content. I guess my personality leads people to believe that I'm bored or disinterested unless I'm laughing hysterically and fawning all over them. That's not the case. And it frustrates me to no end that I have to jump up and down to prove that I'm not miserable.

You know, I don't want to be perceived as some sort of melancholy energy vampire. I want to be a life force, that one person everyone looks forward to seeing. But I'm not - partially because of my tendency to let my frustration and annoyance show. I can't control what others think, but I can control that.

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