I had another of those San Francisco moments yesterday. Well, the whole day was quintessential San Francisco, from brunch with the gays to the gorgeous views from atop one of the city's innumerable crazy ass hills to drinks with the gays in the center of the gay universe.

But the real San Francisco moment began after drinks, while three of us were waiting for the old-fashioned F Market streetcar to stop taunting us and actually start moving. This seemingly normal woman approached and asked (without even saying "hi" - how rude), "What do you call a deep-fried Santa? Crispy Kringle." Then she quickly realized the word crispy didn't begin with a k, she cursed old age for stealing her ability to spell and she said something about the KKK - I'm not sure what.

At this point I wasn't sure whether she was batshit crazy or just a Berkeley-style eccentric. But once she sat down next to us on the train and started talking about her HOME PLANET of Zontar, I realized she was truly special.

She taught me many things. She taught me that there are two Zontars - Zontar 1 and Zontar 2 -- and she taught me that new pal Todd is one of the greatest straight-faced bullshitters of all time. I'm pretty good at lying to someone's face, but I was in awe of his ability to engage her in crazy talk. At one point he was doing his gay snapping and the woman, Anna, laughed and asked, "Why are you doing the castanets. Without a moment's hesitation Todd said, "I was a flamenco dancer in Buenos Aires in my last life."

Don't you know, Anna was just dying to hear all about that.

No comments: