I just jaywalked in front of two police officers. I didn't notice them until I was about halfway across the street. As soon as I spotted them I looked down, as if my not being able to see them meant they couldn't see me. But they could. Every time I glanced up I locked eyes with one guy who could. not. believe. that I was continuing to walk toward him. (It wasn't a particularly safe place to jaywalk -- not only because it was right in front of an Oakland police building but also because it was a street used as a freeway offramp.)

As I approached the two men in blue I said, "Sorry, guys. I'm from the East Coast. That's just how we roll, yo."

Not really. I actually mumbled a soft "sorry" and looked at them all earnestly and lied, "I'm late for a job interview. I really have to run."

They nodded me away, the disgusted look still on their faces.